7 Feb 09

Unconditional love. What is it? I've been thinking about that this past week. I realize how conditional and finite my love is. I have realized that I accept people based on their performance over who they are ( a child of God). My love is not really love at all. It carries more of a "how can you benefit me" attitude. Not very loving at all.

I do not understand the concept of unconditional love. I look to Jesus Christ and see His love for me when I didn't deserve it. Love is not earned. It is a gift that is freely given without any expectation. I guess to truly love Jesus back, is to give him what He's given me- life, my life.

Through this past week, I have come to realize more and more of how short I fall in my thoughts, my heart, my actions-- in comparison to how great God is and to His standard. I realize how much I need Jesus' forgiveness. I need Him to change me and fill me with His love.

Unconditional love. Truly, it can only be found through the love of Jesus.

4 Feb

I have decided to not cross train into the Army from the Air Force. I learned that I would have to pay back my bonus if I were to separate and then join the Army. I have looked at what jobs are available in the Air Force and am very interested in the medical career field. There are a few jobs that are appealing to me: ultrasound technician, medic, and orthopedics technician. There are a few jobs that also interest me: paralegal, weather man, flight engineer, and possibly flight attendant. I hope I can have a job I can use in the civilian world and make a good living.

Tonight, my wife kicked my butt at "Settlers of Catan" two games out of three. I was trying my new strategy "operation anaconda" (Ulysses S. Grant's idea during the Civil War to cut off supplies to the Confederate Army). It finally worked in the third game. I built a road in the shape of a half circle around her and blocked off her access to build new settlements. It was a fun game. I'm glad that my wife and I have spent quality time the past three nights.